For some reason, I’ve always been the kind of girl that wouldn’t really expect anything. But then again, in my mind, I’d go “I wish someone said this to me.” or “I wish someone would look at me this way.” But then again, even if those things did cross my mind, I never really expected any of those to happen cause, personally, for me, I never really believed anything remotely close to what could still possibly happen with the modern gentleman we have today. Even if the man wasn’t a gentleman, let it be some skater guy you fall in love with, I just didn’t think anyone would ever mention anything close to what I usually see on thought catalogues or Tumblr posts or typographs. It would be nice to read and hear and hope for, but then not really enough to really want because reality exceeds what’s seen on the internet for once.
But then again this guy always seems to prove me wrong. In all my 19 years of living, I’ve never had someone tell me anything better than what I read online or what I see on movies, until last week. Sometimes I still have to persuade myself of the reality of the situation that just happened, but it was just too good. And like the kind of girl I am, anything that’s close to ‘too good’ scares me because I’ve always been one who’s had it ‘too bad’.
“I really love you, you know? You’re so beautiful, and every time you walk towards me smiling it’s like I still can’t believe I’m in a relationship with a girl like you. I only ever had the happiness of looking at you a couple of times before but now I’m more than blessed to see your face and hold you in my arms every single day. Whenever you walk towards me, it ALWAYS still feels like the first time. When your hair moves with the wind and I see your mouth starting to curl up to a smile when you see me, it kills me. You get me weak on my knees every single time and when you say my name, it’s like it’s not even real. And whenever I look at you and I see you smile or laughing I always think “God damn, I love this woman.”
How I memorize every single word, I don’t know. Maybe it’s cause I keep replaying it in my head every single night, still trying to figure out if it’s real or not. But I know it is, then again, I feel like it isn’t. And even though I’ve always lived in fear every day to have this “too good” of a man as my boyfriend, I cope by thinking that “Maybe I’ve had too much bad already that maybe now it’s time for something that’s too good.”
Ed Sheeran (via jnicolacola)
“Love yourself more.”
My mom’s always been understanding and supportive of my relationships, and for the reason that having that ‘s’ added to the end of that word gives justice to why she’s probably not as enthusiastic about the one I’m in right now. Deep inside I know she knows that he’s going to be a good one, and possibly the last one too. All I can do is be hopeful as well and pray and work hard for that to happen. But because of the relationships I’ve gone through, my guess is that, as good as any other mom, she’s just really tired of getting hurt from seeing me cry at the end of every relationship.
“Love yourself more.”
I know what she means, and I really do get that from a motherly perspective. Although, sometimes I wish she wasn’t as hard on Robert. She knows very well that he’s different from other guys, but I guess she’s had too much trust given to the wrong guys I’ve dated already that she can’t take any chances with this one right now. All in all, she’s been decent and nice, but the times that she reminds him to love me, it starts being unpleasant.
“Love yourself more.”
“Yes, mom, I know.” “But why does it seem like you’re still giving so much?” I am reserving something for myself, mom. Of course if things won’t work, it’s not like I haven’t gone through heartbreak before. Not saying that I’m an expert on the matter, but I guess it’s become a constant part of my life that it’s lead me more to hoping that it won’t happen anymore. This one’s a keeper, and I know that he makes me better and want to work hard on myself. But like I said, heartbreak… it’s nothing like a tub of ice cream and 2 weeks of non-stop crying can’t fix. And then I’m back to dieting and exercising every single day. At least I know that at the end of a heartbreak, I’m still taken care of by the person I know who’s never going to leave me: Myself.
“Love yourself more.”
Which is why I know that I deserve more and that will never change. I can always count on myself and that will never change. Myself can make myself the happiest and that can never change. So know that I will always love myself more.
For me, it’s only different when you’re in a relationship though. “Love yourself more.” I do, mom. But doesn’t mean I’ll hold anything back. Because really…
What good is it to love someone with only half the potential you know you’re capable of?
Follow if you want.
A Must Read…♥
ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind
replied the author.
Here’s the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥
the best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. and that’s what you’ve given me.
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (via quote-book)
Haruki Murakami (Norwegian Wood)
I fall inlove with people’s passion.
When the world spins madly on, it's when you shouldn't get enough. Cause enough isn't a pro of what the world could ever offer.